Bringing Awareness: Self Defeating Behaviour

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Image of woman looking in mirror with title of article across the picture

What Self-Defeating Behavior Is

Self-defeating behavior refers to actions or attitudes that hinder one's own goals or well-being, often despite knowing better. It's when people engage in behaviors that ultimately undermine their own success, happiness, or fulfillment. 

Some examples of self- defeating behavior include procrastination, self-sabotage, perfectionism, or engaging in harmful habits like using drugs and alcohol, despite having the desire to change. We tend to think that most opposition comes from outside of ourselves—a complaining spouse, a controlling boss, a road-raging driver—but rarely do we acknowledge the truth of the matter: we are often our own worst enemies. When I say often, I mean none times out of ten, WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMY! Truly I mean no disrespect but I feel I had a very hard time to actually understand that bit of things. 

Ways To Stop Self-Defeating Behavior 

Let Go Of Victory

It’s nice to win, but you don’t have to win all the time. The lust for victory can often lead a person to keep chugging along a path of stupidity, wastefulness, and recklessness. On the other hand, sometimes it’s good to admit defeat and win a lesson instead. 

Stop Trying To Please Everyone

You cannot make everyone happy all of the time. Rushing around and trying to make other people happy is a huge cause of self-defeating behavior. Whether you’re doing it at work or in your personal relationships, trying to make everyone happy all the time can cost you your health and peace of mind.

Accept Imperfection

If you seek perfection, you will never find completion. Can you imagine great artists like Michelangelo continuing to work and work on the Sistine Chapel, because it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted it? Nothing would ever get done! Imperfection is part of being human, and most of the time, you’re the only one who will notice your mistakes anyway. 

Squash Bad Habits

These days, most people have bad habits that relate to technology, like obsessively checking our email or social media accounts. Take stock of how you spend your time. Make a detailed log of the minutes and hours, and see how much time you might be wasting with various pursuits. 

Overcome Fear

Fear is something that holds most people back from living a higher purpose. You can’t fly if you don’t jump, and you can’t jump if you’re afraid. Fear doesn’t necessarily have to be a direct sense of trepidation. It might be disguised as laziness or avoidance. 

Drop The Guilt

Allow yourself to enjoy life, even if your past is checkered. People can change and grow, so you don’t have to let your past hold you back. Most of us are raised with a mentality that we have to slave away for someone else and only enjoy the weekend, but you can break free from this thought prison. 

There are so many obstacles in life already to have to go through, don't let yourself be the reason that you aren't living out your dreams! No matter where you are on your journey remember that the only person or thing in your way is you and your thoughts. So believe in yourself and as long as what you are striving for is for the greater good of yourself and others, you will succeed! I hope this will help someone who needs it. Sending peace, love and light soul family. ✨
Location: Sydney NSW, Australia

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